How to make "Twilight" work for guys, too: Just...add...ZOMBIES. Seriously, tell me you wouldn't watch this, dudes [pic]

Like any other red-blooded Y-chromosome-bearing male-type person, I find the Twilight series to be a gut-wrenchingly awful piece of teen-hormone-drenched dreck. This doesn't mean it's totally unsalvageable. All you need is an epilogue after Breaking Dawn, the "final" book in the series (Stephanie Meyer has claimed it's the last of the line, but anyone who knows publishing or Hollywood knows that a bestselling series, like a vampire, can never truly be put to rest). Hell, even Meyer's incomprehensibly huge fan base agrees that Dawn was shite. 

The epilogue would involve...zombies. Yes. The real walking dead. And the undead horde would eat Edward's pasty face, and Jacob's hairy butt, and daintily gorge on some Bella for dessert. So, a happy ending!

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